


What Is And What Should Never Be (2.20)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [43]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Genie/Djinn, Canon Related, Dead John, Domestic Dean Winchester, Domestic Sam Winchester, Episode: s02e20 What Is and What Should Never Be, Established Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, F/M, John Winchester Mentioned - Freeform, Mary Lives, Past John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 02:11:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7201994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is beat down by a Djinn... n' findz his dirty ass up in a freshly smoked up realitizzle where his crazy-ass mutha is still kickin it n' a mysterious biatch holdz tha key ta every last muthafuckin thang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

INT. IMPALA.

Lynyrd Skynyrdz "Saturdizzle Night Special" plays.

Da IMPALA has freshly smoked up plates: CNK 80Q3. DEAN is driving. His cell beeper rings.

 **DEAN  
** (answers ringin beeper) Yeah?

  
INT. MOTEL ROOM

 **SAM  
** Therez a cold-ass lil cop hoopty outside.

 **DEAN V.O.  
** Yo ass be thinkin itz fo' us?

 **SAM  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.

  
INT IMPALA

DEAN I don't peep how. I mean our phat asses ditched tha plates, tha credit cards.

  
INT SAM AND DEAN'S MOTEL ROOM

We peep tha cop hoopty drive away.

 **SAM  
** (breathes out) They're leaving. False alarm.

 **DEAN  
** Well, see. Nothang ta worry about.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, bein fugitives, biatch? Friggin dizzle party.

  
INT IMPALA

 **DEAN  
** Yo dude, chicks dig tha dark shiznit vibe.

  
INT SAM AND DEAN'S MOTEL ROOM

We peep tha books SAM is standin up in front of. They're all on some specific demon called Djinn, n' on top of dem is JOHNz journal, open on tha same subject.

 **SAM  
** So you gots anythang yet?

  
INT IMPALA

 **DEAN  
** Is you kiddin me son, biatch? How tha fuck could I, biatch? Yo ass gots me siftin all up in like 50 square milez of real estate here.

  
INT MOTEL ROOM

 **SAM  
** Well, thatz where all tha suckas disappeared.

  
INT IMPALA

 **DEAN  
** Yeah well, I gots diddly-squat. What bout yo slick ass?

  
INT MOTEL ROOM

 **SAM  
** Just one thang. I be pretty shizzle of it now, nahmeean? (pulls one book closer) Our thugged-out asses hustlin a Djinn.

  
INT IMPALA

 **DEAN  
** A freakin genie?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch? Yo ass be thinkin these suckers can straight-up grant wishes?

  
INT MOTEL ROOM

 **SAM  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. I guess they bangin enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. But not exactly like Barbara Eden up in harem pants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I mean, Djinn done been feedin off playas fo' centuries. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! They're all over tha Koran.

  
INT IMPALA

 **DEAN  
** My fuckin Dogg. Barbara Eden was hot, wasn't she, biatch? Way hotta than dat Bewitched chick.

  
INT MOTEL ROOM

 **SAM  
** Is you even listenin ta me son?

  
INT IMPALA

 **DEAN  
** (Clears throat) Yeah. So uh, where do tha Djinns lair up?

  
INT MOTEL ROOM

 **SAM  
** Ruins usually. Uh. Bigger tha betta- mo' places ta hide.

  
INT IMPALA

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know, I be thinkin I saw a place a cold-ass lil couple milez back. I'ma go check it out.

  
INT SAM AND DEAN'S MOTEL ROOM

 **SAM  
** Wait- no, no, no, no, no. Come pick me up first.

  
INT IMPALA

 **DEAN  
** Naw, I be shizzle itz nothing. I just wanna take a look around.

DEAN hangs up tha phone.

  
INT MOTEL ROOM

SAM lowers his hand wit tha beeper up in it n' sighs.

  
EXT FACTORY

We peep tha Impala pull up n' almost come ta a stop.

  
INT FACTORY

DEAN enters, wit a gangbangin' flashlight, swingin open a cold-ass lil creaky door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN strutts all up in what tha fuck appears ta be a abandoned office, wit typewriter, file cabinets, etc. Therez a thugged-out drippin wata sound yo, but otherwise it appears empty ta his muthafuckin ass.

DEAN looks back n' forth up in it all dem times, n' then starts struttin back tha same direction his schmoooove ass came from but dis time up in tha hall. On his bangin right among all tha oldschool thangs n' such we peep a gangbangin' figure watchin his muthafuckin ass. DEAN don't peep it n' strutts on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Suddenly it attacks him, pinnin his ass against tha window wall. DEAN drops tha flashlight n' tha DJINN slams DEANz right hand up against a wall, forcin DEAN ta drop his knife. We git our first clear peep tha DJINN, whoz ass is bald, wit curlin blue tattoos all over its face. Da DJINN opens its left hand, which begins ta glow up in blue, all up in tha same time dat tha DJINNz eyes begin glowing. Da DJINN puts its glowin hand on DEANz forehead n' DEANz eyes roll up, n' take on a gangbangin' faint blue hue.


	2. ACT ONE

INT BEDROOM - NIGHT

A TV showin a oldschool black n' white porno of a monsta carryin a unconscious biatch.

  
DEAN wakes up, bare-chested, n' bustin a phat gold rope dat aint tha amulet; da perved-out muthafucka sees a apparently nude biatch lyin next ta his muthafuckin ass.

  
INT APARTMENT - NIGHT

DEAN, dressed, is struttin all up in tha dark crib.

SAM, up in another location, gets a funky-ass beeper call on his cell. Dude sees itz DEAN n' looks a lil worried.

 **SAM  
** Dean?

 **DEAN  
** Sam?

 **SAM  
** Whatz goin on?

 **DEAN  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. I don't give a fuck where I am.

 **SAM  
** What, biatch? What happened?

 **DEAN  
** Well, tha uh, tha Djinn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it beat down mah dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** Da gin, biatch? Yo ass is ... drankin gin?

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, asshat. Da Djinn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da ... freaky creature. Remember, biatch? It put its hand on me n' then I raised up ... next ta some bangin' chick...

 **SAM  
** Who, biatch? (laughs) Carmen?

 **DEAN  
** Who?

 **SAM  
** Dean, you faded. Yo ass is faded-dialin mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** I aint faded. Quit screwin around!

 **SAM  
** Look, itz late fo' realz. All right, just git some chill and, um, I be bout ta ... peep you tomorrow. OK?

 **DEAN  
** Wait, Sam! Sam!

SAM hangs up, n' flips his beeper down, bustin up a lil. Dude sighs n' slams shut a funky-ass book,  _CRIMINAL LAW & PROCEDURE_ by ???.

  
INT LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

DEAN puts his beeper back up in his thugged-out lil' pocket, frustrated, n' looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude sees a envelope, n' pickin it up, sees dat it be addressed to:

CARMEN PORTER  
53 BARKER AVE  
LAWRENCE, KS 66044

 **DEAN  
** Lawrence?

Da next two envelopes is addressed ta Dean, same address as Carmen's.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell?

 **CARMEN  
** Honey, biatch? What is you bustin up?

 **DEAN  
** Hey. Carmen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Carmen, uh, I just uh...

 **CARMEN  
** Aw, you can't chill, huh?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, heh heh.

 **CARMEN  
** Well, why don't you come back ta bed n' letz peep if I can do anythang ta help.

 **DEAN  
** Sure. Yeah. In a minute. Yo ass - you, you go ahead.

 **CARMEN  
** (smiling) OK. Don't stay up too long.

 **DEAN  
** No.

She kisses his ass warmly.

DEAN goes ta a funky-ass bookshelf, sees a photo of CARMEN, n' another of CARMEN n' DEAN embracing. Dude turns n' sees suttin' else shockin- another photo- and drops it, without tha crew seein dat shit. Da glass shattas as it breaks, n' DEAN turns on his wheel n' leaves tha room.

  
EXT THE WINCHESTER HOUSE - NIGHT

DEAN drives up in tha Impala across tha street yo. Dude shuts off tha engine n' goes over n' we peep dat itz tha oldschool Winchesta doggy den from his childhood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! (Address 1841)

  
CUT TO:

DEAN bangin on tha door yo. Dude rings tha bell two times as well. Da porch light turns on n' tha door opens.

 **MARY  
** Dean.

DEAN just stares at her all dem seconds, not believin his wild lil' fuckin eyes yo. His voice is fucked up when tha pimpin' muthafucka talks ta her, on tha verge of crying.

 **DEAN  
** Mom?

 **MARY  
** What is you bustin here, biatch? Is you all right?

 **DEAN  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.

 **MARY  
** Well... come inside.

  
INT WINCHESTER HOUSE - NIGHT

DEAN comes up in n' MARY closes tha door yo. Dude can't take his wild lil' fuckin eyez of her muthafuckin ass.

 **MARY  
** (cont'd) Carmen just called n' holla'd you just ... took off all of a sudden.

 **DEAN  
** Carmen, biatch? Right. ... Let me ask you a question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. When I was a kid, what tha fuck did you always tell me when you put me ta bed?

 **MARY  
** Dean, I don't KNOW -

 **DEAN  
** (hard) Just answer tha question.

 **MARY  
** I holla'd at you angels was watchin over you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** I don't believe dat shit.

Dude strutts over n' hugs her tightly.

 **MARY  
** Honey, you scarin mah dirty ass. (DEAN backs off) Now just tell me what tha fuck be happenin.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass don't be thinkin dat wishes can, can straight-up...

 **MARY  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Forget dat shit. (Dude hugs her again) Forget dat shit. I be just uh... I be aiiight ta peep you, thatz all.

Dude almost starts bustin up like a biatch but pulls it together n' releases tha hug, lookin down on MARY.

 **DEAN  
** (cont'd) Yo ass is dope. (laughs a lil)

 **MARY  
** (smiling) What?

 **DEAN  
** (clears throat) Yo, when I was uh... When I was lil' was there eva a gangbangin' fire here? (walkin towardz tha wall, lookin all up in tha books n' pictures)

 **MARY  
** No. Never.

 **DEAN  
** I thought there was.

We peep a picture of JOHN n' MARY smilin wit DEAN n' SAM as lil lil playas up in front of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **DEAN  
** (cont'd) I guess I was wrong.

We peep another picture of DEAN up in a cold-ass lil cap, lookin def tha fuck into tha camera fo' realz. Another picture of DEAN n' his thugged-out lil' prom date, clearly taken at prom fo' realz. Another of SAM as a graduate. DEAN picks up another picture. It aint nuthin but up in black n' white n' shows JOHN, dressed up in basebizzle threadz wit a cold-ass lil cap n' a funky-ass basebizzle bat up in his hand, locked n loaded ta swing, smilin all up in tha camera.

 **DEAN  
** (to his dirty ass) Dadz on a softbizzle crew. (he turns around, ta peep MARY lookin at his ass seriously) Dad's... Dadz softbizzle crew. It's... Thatz funky ta mah dirty ass.

 **MARY  
** Dude loved dat wack crew.

 **DEAN  
** Dadz dead, biatch? And tha thang dat capped his ass was a...

 **MARY  
** A stroke yo. Dude took a dirt nap up in his chill. Yo ass know that.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz pimped out.

 **MARY  
** Excuse me son?

 **DEAN  
** That - thatz pimped out. That da thug went peacefully, I mean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It shizzle beats tha alternative.

 **MARY  
** You've been drinking.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, I haven't. Mom.

 **MARY  
** I be just gonna call Carmen n' have her come pick you up, OK?

 **DEAN  
** Wait. Fuck dat shit, no!

Dude puts his hand over MARY'S which is over tha beeper bout ta pick it up.

 **DEAN  
** (cont'd) Don't - don't do dis shit. Don't do dis shit. I wanna stay here.

 **MARY  
** Why?

 **DEAN  
** Because I-I miss tha place. It aint nuthin but all gravy, you - you git all up in bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Okay?

Dude goes over ta tha couch, sits down, n' looks round a funky-ass bit. MARY strutts up ta him, strokes his wild lil' grill tenderly.

 **MARY  
** Is you shizzle you all right?

 **DEAN  
** I be thinkin so.

 **MARY  
** Okay.

She bendz down n' kisses his wild lil' forehead, like all mothers do. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch starts up tha room, stops by tha door.

 **MARY  
** (cont'd) Git some rest. I gots a straight-up boner fo' you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Me like a muthafucka.

She smilez n' then goes ta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN stays on tha couch, lookin perplexed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We peep a picture of SAM as a graduate wit MARY n' JOHN smilin proudly next ta his muthafuckin ass.

  
INT WINCHESTER HOUSE - DAY

DEAN wakes up on tha couch ta tha sound of birdz rappin outside. When his wild lil' fuckin eyes focus we peep itz on a picture of tha whole crew, tha thugs as lil playas n' JOHN is bustin a Gangsta hat, lookin straight-up horny. DEAN opens his wild lil' fuckin eyes straight-up, chillin up, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude dials his thugged-out lil' phone.

 **SAM'S MACHINE V.O  
** Yo, itz mah dirty ass. I can't come ta tha pho-

DEAN hangs up.

  
INT PROFESSOR'S OFFICE

 **PROFESSOR  
** Well I don't be thinkin I've peeped you up in mah class before.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass kiddin' me son, biatch? I gots a straight-up boner fo' yo' lectures. You... Yo ass make peepin' fun.

They laugh.

 **PROFESSOR  
** So. What can I do fo' yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** What can you tell me bout Djinns?

  
CUT TO:

DEAN n' tha PROFESSOR standin over a funky-ass bunch of books.

 **PROFESSOR  
** Well, a shitload of Muslims believed tha Djinn is straight-up real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. And they mentioned up in tha Koran-

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Git ta tha wish part.

 **PROFESSOR  
** What bout it?

 **DEAN  
** Do you be thinkin they could straight-up do it?

 **PROFESSOR  
** Um... Uh, no. Fuck dat shit, I don't be thinkin they can 'really do it'. Yo ass KNOW these is mythic creatures?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, I know. I-I-I know. I know. But uh... I mean up in tha stories. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Yo ass know, say you had a wish, uh. But you never even holla'd it up loud. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Like that, uh... dat a loved one never died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Or that, uh, suttin' wack never happened.

 **PROFESSOR  
** Supposedly, yes. I mean they have godlike juice n' shit. They can alta realitizzle however they want. Past. Present. Future.

 **DEAN  
** Why would tha Djinn do it, biatch? What, self-defense, biatch? Or maybe it aint straight-up evil.

 **PROFESSOR  
** Son?

 **DEAN  
** Hm?

 **PROFESSOR  
** Yo ass been drinking?

 **DEAN  
** All Y'all keeps askin me dis shit. But uh... No.

  
EXT THE CAMPUS

DEAN opens tha trunk ta tha Impala n' we peep only oldschool magazines n' paper cups n' a rag up in there, no glocks or other weapons.

 **DEAN  
** (laughs) Well, who'd'a thought, baby. We civilians.

Dude closes tha trunk, n' looks over all up in tha building.

A hoe is standin up in a white shirt, skirt n' shoes, starin at his muthafuckin ass. DEANz smile fades as da perved-out muthafucka senses something. Dude looks at her fo' a lil while n' then starts ta cross tha street, struttin towardz her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly a cold-ass lil hoopty screeches ta a halt as it avoidz hustlin tha fuck into DEAN. Da driver hits tha horn n' DEAN holdz up his hand as he looks all up in tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. When tha pimpin' muthafucka turns back towardz tha girl, she gone. Dude looks puzzled fo' a moment, then turns back ta tha IMPALA.

  
INT WINCHESTER HOUSE

DEAN takes a funky-ass bite outta a funky-ass big-ass sandwich, gruntin 'cause of tha goodness.

 **DEAN  
** Mmm. Mmm. Mmm! (callin out, grill full) This is tha dopest sandwich, ever!

 **MARY  
** (from tha other room) Nuff props, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** (still calling) I tried ta git hold of Sam earlier n' shit. Where - where - where is he?

 **MARY  
** Oh, he'll be here soon.

 **DEAN  
** Good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Dyin ta peep his muthafuckin ass.

 **MARY  
** Sweetie, I- I... Don't git me wrong. I be thrilled yo ass is... ridin here... all of a sudden. (she quickly strokes DEANz chin) But uh... shouldn't you be at work?

 **DEAN  
** Work?

 **MARY  
** At tha garage?

 **DEAN  
** Right. Da garage. It aint nuthin but where I work, yeah. Fuck dat shit, I-I-I've gots tha dizzle off. (snickers) Heh. Dope thang.

Dude takes another bite, again n' again n' again wit tha gruntin of goodnizz yo. Dude looks ta tha window.

  
CUT TO:

DEAN lookin up tha window.

 **DEAN  
** That lawn be lookin like it could use some mowing.

 **MARY  
** Yo ass wanna mow tha lawn?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass kiddin me son, biatch? I'd ludd ta mow tha law.

 **MARY  
** Knock yo ass out. You'd be thinkin you'd never mowed a lawn up in yo' game.

DEAN shrugs, apparently thankin dat no, he never has mowed a lawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dude looks all kindz of aiiight bout tha prospect of bustin so.

  
EXT WINCHESTER HOUSE

Music playing: Joey Ramone, "What a Wonderful Life"

DEAN starts tha lawnmower n' shiznit yo. Dude starts ta mow tha lawn, lookin straight-up happy, trippin' off dat shit. Dat punk not straight-up adept at dat shit. Dude sees tha neighbor across tha street puttin up tha garbage yo. Dude waves ta his ass like a regular muthafucka do up in dis regular ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da neighbor waves back, telegraphin "surprise" wit his wave, n' then DEAN continues tha mowing. Da garden gnome watches.

 

CUT TO:

DEAN chillin on tha steps ta tha front porch, drankin a funky-ass brew, feelin horny. A hoopty drives up n' parks all up in tha curb.

 **DEAN  
** I don't believe dat shit.

Dude gets up ta go greet SAM n' JESSICA whoz ass is gettin outta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN attacks JESSICA wit a gangbang while SAM takes up tha luggage from tha trunk.

 **JESSICA  
** Hmm.

 **DEAN  
** Jessica.

 **JESSICA  
** Agh! You're, uh... Dope ta peep you too Dean. (DEAN laughs) Can't breathe, aiiight. (he lets go)

 **DEAN  
** Sammy.

 **SAM  
** Hey.

 **DEAN  
** (smilin big) Look at you, biatch. Yo ass is wit Jessica, itz - I don't believe dat shit. (laughs)

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Where'd you muthafuckas come from?

 **SAM  
** Us playas just flew up in from... Califor-

 **DEAN  
** California! Stanford. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Huh, biatch? Law school, I bet.

 **SAM  
** (chuckles, somewhat disapprovingly) (motionin ta tha brew up in DEANz hand) I peep you started off Momz birthdizzle wit a funky-ass bang, as usual.

 **DEAN  
** Wait. Momz birthday, that's, thatz todizzle?

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Yeah, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Thatz todizzle. It make me wanna hollar playa! Thatz why our crazy asses here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Don't tell me you forgot.

 **DEAN  
** (looks nonplussed) Wha...

  
INT RESTAURANT

They're all chillin at a round table. DEAN gets served a plate wit asparagus spears bound tha fuck into a upright sheaf.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, that... looks phat.

 **SAM  
** All right. To Mom. (raises glass) Kool as fuck birthday.

 **JESSICA  
** Kool as fuck birthday.

 **MARY  
** Nuff props, biatch.

They all clink they glasses up in a cold-ass lil cheer.

 **DEAN  
** To momma.

As DEAN watches, SAM n' JESSICA kiss yo. Dude smiles.

 **CARMEN  
** (to DEAN) I was straight-up worried bout you last night.

 **DEAN  
** Oh I be ... I be good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! I be straight-up good.

 **CARMEN  
** Okay. What do you say, lata we git you a cold-ass lil cheeseburger?

 **DEAN  
** Oh God, yes. (she smiles) How tha fuck did I end up wit such a cold-ass lil def chick?

 **CARMEN  
** Just gots low standards.

Dude laughs n' kisses her muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** All right. Jizz n' I straight-up have another surprise fo' Momz birthday. It make me wanna hollar playa! Ah... Yo ass wanna tell 'em?

 **JESSICA  
** They're yo' crew.

 **SAM  
** All right.

 **MARY  
** (smilin up in anticipation) What, biatch? Tell me what?

SAM hold up JESSICAz left hand n' we peep a engagement rang on her finger n' shit. MARY laughs happily.

 **MARY  
** (happy) Oh mah Dogg hommie! Thatz so wonderful.

She gets up n' hugs JESSICA, whoz also gotten up. We peep SAM n' CARMEN gettin up as well, while DEAN still sits.

 **CARMEN  
** (to JESSICA) Congratulations.

 **JESSICA  
** Nuff props, biatch.

 **CARMEN  
** Congratulations.

 **SAM  
** Nuff props, biatch.

MARY strutts over n' hugs SAM.

 **MARY  
** I just wish yo' daddy was here.

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Me like a muthafucka.

 **MARY  
** Jessica, let me peep dat ring.

 **DEAN  
** Congratulations Sammy.

 **SAM  
** Thanks.

 **DEAN  
** I be straight-up glad you horny.

SAM looks a lil puzzled at DEANz intensity.

We peep over SAMz shoulder tha same hoe dat DEAN saw on campus earlier, when da thug was almost hit by a cold-ass lil car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks much filthier dis time. DEAN sees her, brushes past SAM n' strutts over n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM turns round when DEAN hits his shoulder while passin by. DEAN passes a shitload of playas n' when he passes tha last one, tha hoe is gone.

DEAN turns round n' looks at his crew, as they stand lookin at him, wonderin what tha fuck up.


	3. ACT TWO

INT WINCHESTER HOUSE

Our thugged-out asses hear tha door open as tha start wit tha camera on a picture of JOHN holdin a straight-up hella big-ass fish up in his hands, lookin horny. Da dem hoes laugh as they enter.

 **SAM  
** So, Dean, what tha fuck was uh... what tha fuck was all dat back all up in tha restaurant?

 **DEAN  
** Ah... I-I thought I saw one of mah thugs. I be shizzle itz nothing.

 **MARY  
** Well, I had a ghettofab birthday. It make me wanna hollar playa! Nuff props, biatch. Dope night.

 **JESSICA n' CARMEN  
** Dope night.

 **DEAN  
** Dope night.

 **SAM  
** Night, Mom. (to tha others) Yeah, well I be beat. (to JESSICA) Ready ta turn in?

 **JESSICA  
** Sure.

 **SAM  
** All right. Dope night muthafuckas.

 **DEAN  
** Wait a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Wait a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Come on, it aint even nine o'clock yet. Letz uh... Letz go gotz a thugged-out drank or something.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, maybe another time.

 **DEAN  
** Come on, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Look at our asses yo. Huh, biatch? We both have dope dem hoes on our arms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Yo ass is engaged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Let’s go celebrate.

_Awkward silence._

**SAM  
** (to JESSICA n' CARMEN) Guys, can you excuse us, biatch? I just wanna rap ta mah brutha fo' a sec.

 **JESSICA  
** Sure.

 **SAM  
** Thanks.

 **JESSICA  
** Come on, Carmen.

Da dem hoes leave tha room n' SAM turns ta DEAN.

 **SAM  
** Come here. (he strutts ta tha other side of tha livin room)

 **DEAN  
** What? (bigs up)

 **SAM  
** Okay. Whatz gotten tha fuck into yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** What do you mean?

 **SAM  
** I mean dis whole warm, fuzzy ecstasy-trip thang.

 **DEAN  
** I be just aiiight fo' you, Sammy.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, right. Thatz another thang. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Since when do you call me Sammy? (beat) Dean, come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us dudes don't rap outside of holidays.

 **DEAN  
** Us dudes don't, biatch? Well, we should. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, you mah brother.

 **SAM  
** "Yo ass is mah brother"?

 **DEAN  
** (laughing) Yeah.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, thatz what tha fuck you holla'd when you snaked mah ATM card, or when you bailed on mah graduation, or when you hooked up wit Ray-Ray Nave.

 **DEAN  
** Who?

 **SAM  
** Uh, mah prom date. On prom night.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, dat do kinda sound like mah dirty ass. Well, hey dude, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout all that. (walks towardz SAM)

 **SAM  
** (backs away) No that, look, thatz all right dude, I-I just... Yo ass know I aint askin you ta chizzle. I-I just, uh, ... I don't give a fuck, I... guess our laid-back asses just don't straight-up have anythang up in common. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass know?

DEAN blinks.

SAM starts ta strutt away.

 **DEAN  
** Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes yes y'all, our phat asses do. Yes yes y'all, our phat asses do. (laughs)

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Hunting.

 **SAM  
** Hunting, biatch? I've never been hustlin up in mah game, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well, then we should go it sometime. I... I be thinkin you'd be pimped out at dat shit.

SAM starts ta strutt away again.

 **SAM  
** (turns around) Git some rest.

Dude strutts away n' leaves DEAN up in tha livin room.

  
INT DEAN'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

DEAN is chillin on tha sofa, thinking, furrowed brow. CARMEN offers his ass a funky-ass brew.

 **DEAN  
** My fuckin favorite. I guess you know me pretty well.

 **CARMEN  
** 'Fraid so. Y'all right?

 **DEAN  
** Sammy n' I ... Us dudes don't git along.

 **CARMEN  
** Well, you don't straight-up spend a shitload of time together n' shit. I mean, I just be thinkin you don't give a fuck each other all dat well.

 **DEAN  
** Hm.

 **CARMEN  
** For tha record: Dude don't give a fuck what tha fuck he missing.

 **DEAN  
** I can fix thangs wit Sam. I can make it up ta his muthafuckin ass. To everyone.

 **CARMEN  
** Okay. Whatz gotten tha fuck into you lately?

 **DEAN  
** This aint gonna cook up a lick of sense ta you, biatch. But I kind of feel like I've been given a second chance. And I don't wanna waste dat shit.

 **CARMEN  
** Yo ass is right, dat don't make any sense-

DEAN leans up in n' kisses her muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know, I git dat shit.

 **CARMEN  
** Git what?

 **DEAN  
** Why you tha one.

 **CARMEN  
** Well? (he kisses her again) Whateverz gotten tha fuck into you, biatch... I wanna bust a nut on dat shit. (they begin ta kiss) Ohhh... come on! Don't do dis ta me now, nahmeean, biatch? I've gotta git locked n loaded fo' work. (she gets off tha couch, leavin DEAN chillin wit his handz as if dat biiiiatch was still between them)

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass gots ta work now?

 **CARMEN  
** I holla'd at you, biatch. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I gots tha night shifts on Thursday.

 **DEAN  
** (gettin up) Yo ass work nights at the, uh...

 

INT DEAN'S BEDROOM

CARMEN is standin by tha closet, takin up scrubs. DEAN standz up in tha doorway.

 **DEAN  
** (cont'd) …hospitizzle. (to his dirty ass) I be pimpin a nurse. That is so... respectable.

CARMEN smilez at his fuckin lyrics. DEAN looks at her muthafuckin ass... well booty probably, n' takes a sip of brew.

  
INT DEAN'S LIVING ROOM

DEAN is on tha couch, puttin his wild lil' feet on tha table, drankin brew n' watchin TV.

 **WOMAN  
** Da olive oil must gotz a purpose here.

 **MAN  
** Yeah.

 **WOMAN  
** Yeah?

 **MAN  
** I be bout ta take tha olive oil n' we'll just put a, just a funky-ass bust a nut on of olive oil, aiiight, biatch? Thatz all.

 **WOMAN  
** Oh.

 **MAN  
** Can't make any mistakes wit dis machine. Now, fo' liquid, I could use wata but I'ma bust a lil spinach -

DEAN chizzled tha channel ta tha stock market, cartoon, n' then tha freshly smoked up (15 KJLT)s. We peep a land plane n' hear a hustla:

**REPORTER  
** _And todizzle marks tha anniversary of tha crash of United Britannia Flight 424._

This gets DEANz attention n' he leans forward as his schmoooove ass continues ta watch.

 **REPORTER  
** (cont'd)  _Indianapolis gangstas held a cold-ass lil candlelight vigil up in memory of tha hundred n' eight playas whoz ass lost they lives..._

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, no. I stopped dat crash.

  
CUT TO:

DEAN up in front of his fuckin laptop readin headlines dat relate ta cases dat schmoooove muthafucka has solved.

 _Indianapolis Sun_ , December 5TH, 2005 -  ** _FLIGHT 424 CRASHES, 108 DEAD_** _;_ Tragedy shocks tha nation, as emergency crews continue ta search rubble

 ** _Nine Lil Pimps Comatose_** _;_ ... Mystery illnizz bafflez doctors at Dane County Hospitizzle

 ** _Parents mutilated up in bed.._** _;_ …Brutal double homicizzle up in on tha down-low residential area causes shock

 ** _GIRL DROWNS IN HOTEL POOL_** _;_ Muthafucka devastated afta discoverin daughta drowned

Dude catches a glimpse of a passin figure, a biatch up in white; maybe tha same biatch dat schmoooove muthafucka has peeped twice now, nahmeean, biatch? Dude gets up ta peep what tha fuck it is.

  
INT DEAN'S BEDROOM

Dude opens his bedroom closet door n' sees nuff muthafuckin biatch corpses, hanging. Dude hears a sound n' turns round ta peep another biatch, wit a wound up in her head, flickerin up in front of his muthafuckin ass.

Dude pants, lookin shocked, n' turns back round ta tha closet- ta peep not a god damn thang outta tha ordinary.

 

  
EXT GRAVEYARD NIGHT

DEAN is standin by JOHNz grave. We peep durin tha scene dat it is freestyled on it:

 _JOHN E. WINCHESTER_  
1954-2006  
LOVING HSTDAND  & FATHER  
REMEMBERED FOREVER

DEAN All of dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Everyone dat you saved, mah playas Sammy n' I saved. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They're all dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. And there be a dis biatch, thatz hustlin mah dirty ass. I don't give a fuck why. I don't give a fuck what tha fuck tha connection is, not yet anyway. It aint nuthin but like mah oldschool game is, is comin afta me or something. Like it like it don't want me ta be horny. Course I know what tha fuck you'd say. Well, not tha you dat played softbizzle but... "So go hunt tha Djinn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude put you here, it can put you back. Yo crazy-ass happinizz fo' all dem peoplez lives, no contest. Right?" But why, biatch? Why is it mah thang ta save these people, biatch? Why do I gotta be some kind of hero? (begins ta cry while rappin') What bout us, huh, biatch? What, Momz not supposed ta live her game, Sammyz not supposed ta git married, biatch? Why do we gotta sacrifice every last muthafuckin thang, Dad? (pause) It's... (Deanz lips tremble. Silence. Our thugged-out asses hear tha sky rumbling. Tears begins ta falls on DEANz cheek.) Yeah...

DEAN wipes tha tears on his cheeks. Dude turns round n' strutts away as tha camera goes higher n' we peep his ass further n' further up from tha sky.


	4. ACT THREE

INT WINCHESTER HOUSE; SAM AND JESSICA'S ROOM - NIGHT

Our thugged-out asses hear a cold-ass lil hoopty outside fo' realz. A dawg barks. Then our crazy asses hear a noise downstairs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM wakes.

  
INT WINCHESTER HOUSE

SAM comes down tha stairs, on tha fuckin' down-lowly, wit a funky-ass bat up in his hand.

  
INT LIVING ROOM

SAM stops up in tha doorway, leanin lookin tha fuck into tha livin room yo. Dude sees tha window open n' under it, one of mah thugs is up in one of tha cabinets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM goes in, swinging. Da thug gets up n' counterattacks, throwin his ass on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. We peep dat itz DEAN.

 **DEAN  
** (breathes) That was so easy as fuck , I be embarrassed fo' you, biatch.

 **SAM  
** Dean, biatch? What tha hell is you bustin here?

DEAN gets up, lettin SAM git up off tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They stand up in front of tha window- much like tha straight-up original gangsta scene between dem up in tha [pilot](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Pilot) when DEAN breaks tha fuck into SAMz crib.

 **DEAN  
** I was lookin fo' a funky-ass brew.

 **SAM  
** In tha china cabinet?

SAM goes ta turn on tha light n' we peep tha box wit they muthafathas' silverware on tha floor, open.

 **SAM  
** Thatz Momz silver.

 **DEAN  
** Sam.

 **SAM  
** What, you, biatch... you broke tha fuck into tha house... ta loot Momz silver?

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but not what tha fuck it looks like. OK, I didn't gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle.

 **SAM  
** Oh straight-up, biatch? Why, biatch? Whatz so damn blingin you gotta loot from yo' own mother?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass want tha real deal?

 **SAM  
** Yeah, yeah I do.

 **DEAN  
** (shrugs) I owe some muthafucka scrilla.

 **SAM  
** Who?

 **DEAN  
** A bookie. I lost big-ass on a game, I gotta brang his ass tha chedda tonight.

 **SAM  
** I can't believe we even related.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

 **SAM  
** (quietly) Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka dat our phat asses don't git along. And I wish ta hell I could stay n' fix dat shit. But I gotta do all dis bullshit. People’s lives depend on dat shit.

Dude turns round n' take a knife from tha box.

 **SAM  
** What is you poppin' off about, Dean?

 **DEAN  
** Nothing. Forget dat shit. Just uh... hey, tell Momma I gots a straight-up boner fo' her muthafuckin ass.

SAM frowns, seein dat suttin' is up. DEAN goes fo' tha door.

 **SAM  
** Dean.

 **DEAN  
** (turns around) I be bout ta peep you, Sammy.

Dude strutts up tha door, takin one last peep tha doggy den n' SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM standz up in tha livin room where DEAN left him, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Our thugged-out asses hear tha Impalaz engine start.

  
EXT WINCHESTER HOUSE; THE IMPALA - NIGHT

DEAN is chillin up in tha car, engine going, thinking. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly tha passenger door opens n' SAM gets up in tha car.

 **DEAN  
** Git outta tha car.

 **SAM  
** I be goin wit you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass is just gonna slow me down.

 **SAM  
** Tough.

 **DEAN  
** This is fucked up n' you could git hurt.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, n' so could you, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Sam-

 **SAM  
** Look, whatever wack thang you bout ta do, you not bustin it ridin' solo fo' realz. And thatz that.

 **DEAN  
** I don't understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Why you bustin this?

 **SAM  
** (sighs) Because you still mah brother.

 **DEAN  
** Bitch.

 **SAM  
** W- hat is you callin me a funky-ass biiiatch for?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass is supposed ta say jerk.

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Never mind.

Dude puts tha Impala up in gear n' they drive off.

  
EXT ROAD - NIGHT

Da Impala comes down tha road towardz tha camera

  
CUT TO:

Da Impalaz license plate, which is now RMD 5H2 - Kansas plates. Da camera goes up ta SAM n' DEAN.

  
INT IMPALA - NIGHT

SAM looks down on a funky-ass bag on tha seat between dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **SAM  
** (sighs) Whatz up in tha bag?

 **DEAN  
** Nothin'.

 **SAM  
** Nothin'?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, nothin'.

 **SAM  
** Fine (grabs tha bag n' begins ta open it)

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass don't wanna do that.

 **SAM  
** Oh straight-up?

Dude takes up what tha fuck was up in tha bag. It aint nuthin but a cold-ass lil container of blood.

 **SAM  
** (cont'd) (lookin all up in tha container) What tha hell is this?

 **DEAN  
** Blood.

 **SAM  
** (upset) Yeah, I can peep dat itz blood, Dean! What tha hell is it bustin up in here?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass don't straight-up wanna know.

 **SAM  
** No I-I do straight-up wanna know. I straight-up, straight-up, do.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well you gonna smoke up sooner or later n' shit. I needed a silver knife dipped up in lambz blood.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass needed a silver knife dipped up in lambz blood, why?

 **DEAN  
** Because there be a dis creature fo' realz. A Djinn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And I gotta hunt dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Okay, um... stop tha car.

 **DEAN  
** I know how tha fuck it sounds.

 **SAM  
** Great. Just... stop tha car.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but tha real deal, Sam fo' realz. All right, there be thangs up there up in tha dark. There- there- there be shitty thangs. There is nightmare thangs fo' realz. And playas gotta be saved n' if our phat asses don't save them, then no muthafucka will.

 **SAM  
** Look, I wanna help you, all right. I-I straight-up, straight-up do yo, but you havin some kind of psychotic breakdown, so, I ... just-

 **DEAN  
** I wish.

SAM picks up his beeper n' starts dialin a number n' shit. DEAN rolls down his window, grabs SAMz phone, throws it out, n' then rolls up tha window again.

 **SAM  
** What tha hell was that, Dean, biatch? That was mah phone!

 **DEAN  
** I aint goin ta a rubber room, Sammy fo' realz. And we gots work ta do.

 **SAM  
** What, biatch? I was just tryin ta help you out, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I don't, I don't want you ta git yo ass hurt.

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch? Yo ass protect me son?

 **SAM  
** Yeah!

 **DEAN  
** (laughs) Oh, thatz hilarious. Why don't you just sit tight n' try not ta git our asses both capped.

 **DEAN  
** starts tha radio n' noize ("Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Saturdizzle Night Special") blares out.

  
EXT OLD FACTORY BUILDINGS

Da same blasted of tha Impala rollin up between tha buildin shows, as we saw up in tha teaser n' shit. Da hoopty stops while we still hear tha noize blaring.

  
INT IMPALA

DEAN looks over at SAM whoz ass be asleep yo. Dude picks up his wild lil' flashlight n' shines it on SAMz face. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM wakes wit a start.

 **SAM  
** Where is we?

 **DEAN  
** Well, our asses aint up in Kansas no mo'. (he chucklez at SAM. When there be a no erection tha smile dies) Illinois.

 **SAM  
** And you be thinkin somethingz up in there?

 **DEAN  
** I know it is.

  
INT OLD FACTORY BUILDING

We back up in tha room wit tha glass wall ta our right. DEAN n' SAM is struttin in, flashlight up in DEANz hand.

 **SAM  
** See, biatch? Therez not a god damn thang here, Dean.

  
INT HALLWAY

DEAN starts struttin down tha hallway, same way as last time when he gots attacked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM closely bigs up behind.

 **SAM  
** Look, Carmenz gotta be worried sick bout you, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Come on, let- letz just go.

Therez a sound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Shh!

Our thugged-out asses hear soundz n' SAM finally starts ta take it seriously.

 **SAM  
** What tha hell is that?

 **DEAN  
** Stay behind mah crazy ass n' keep yo' grill shut.

  
INT BIG ROOM

DEAN n' SAM approaches n' while tha camera moves backwardz we peep bodies hangin from tha ceilin appearin before dem wild-ass muthafuckas. It aint nuthin but tha same bodies DEAN saw up in his closet earlier.

FLASH TO THE CLOSET

INT BIG ROOM

We peep a thugged-out drained blood bag hangin next ta one of tha bodies.

 **SAM  
** What tha hell?

DEAN looks further ta tha right, n' we peep tha biatch DEAN has been seein all all up in tha episode, hangin like tha bodies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! They approach her n' we peep another blood bag next ta her, filled wit blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Her eyes is open yo, but she looks close ta dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We flash all dem times ta her up in front of tha campus buildin earlier.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but her muthafuckin ass.

SAM looks all up in tha bag n' at her wrists dat is tied, just like tha others. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch begins ta moan n' whimper.

 **SAM  
** Dean, what tha fuck be happenin?

 **DEAN  
** (grabs him) Shh!

We peep what tha fuck DEAN saw: tha Djinn is comin out. When it comes up from behind a wall n' strutts up behind tha biatch, tha muthafuckas is gone.

 **WOMAN  
** (sobbing) Wherez mah dad, biatch? (crying) I won't tell ... (lookin all up in tha Djinn) Don't. (she moves her feet away from tha Djinn while we peep dat DEAN n' SAM has hidden. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat hoe crying) Wherez mah dad.

Da DJINN touches her face.

 **DJINN  
** Sleep.

We peep some blue flares go over her cheek as da perved-out muthafucka strokes her n' shit. Da DJINNz eyes glow bright blue.

 **DJINN  
** (cont'd) Sleep. ... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sleep.

Her head falls forward, eyes still open n' her feet chillaxes, fallin forward again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da DJINN rests his wild lil' grill against her arms, touchin her right arm n' breathang heavily, eyes closed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude then goes fo' tha blood bag, pulls up one straw n' puts it ta his crazy-ass grill, drankin her blood.

SAM sees dis n' gags up in disgust. Da DJINN hears, n' turns round right away; its eyes flash blue n' his thugged-out lil' punk-ass begins ta move towardz they hidin place. When he gets there, tha muthafuckas is gone.

  
CUT TO:

Da DJINN strutts up some creaky steps n' we peep SAM n' DEAN standin below them, lookin up, followin his steps. When a thugged-out door closes up in tha background SAM begins ta breathe loudly.

 **SAM  
** This is real, biatch? Yo ass aint crazy?

 **DEAN  
** (thankin aloud) Bitch didn't give a fuck where dat biiiiatch was. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch thought dat biiiiatch was wit her father.

  
CUT TO:

DEAN n' SAM strutt up ta tha biatch again.

 **DEAN  
** What if thatz what tha fuck tha Djinn do, biatch? It don't grant you a wish, it just make you be thinkin it has.

 **SAM  
** Look man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. That thang could come back, all right?

DEAN strutts past SAM up in tha opposite direction of tha biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude looks up at a light bulb n' it starts ta flicker up in brighta light. We peep flashez of DEAN, hangin by his wrists like tha biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN starts ta gag, lil shiznit breathing, probably shock fo' startin ta realize what tha fuck be happenin.

 **SAM  
** Dean, please.

 **DEAN  
** (breathang heavily) What if I be like her, biatch? What if I be tied up in here some place, biatch? What if all dis is up in mah head?


	5. ACT FOUR

**DEAN  
** (strutts up ta tha biatch) I mean it could, you know, maybe it gives our asses some kind of supernatural acid, n' then just feedz on our asses slow.

 **SAM  
** No. Dean, dat don't make sense. OK?

 **DEAN  
** What if thatz why she keeps appearin ta me son, biatch? Dat hoe not a spirit, n' I aint talkin bout no muthafuckin Jack Daniels neither. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. It aint nuthin but - itz like mo' n' mo' like I be catchin flashez of reality. Yo ass know, like I be up in here somewhere, n' I be - I be catatonic, n' I be takin all dis shiznit up in but I yo, but I can't snap outta dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, OK, look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you right. I was wrong. Yo ass aint wild-ass but we- we- we need ta git outta here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Fast.

Dude starts ta pull DEAN wit his muthafuckin ass. DEAN pulls his thugged-out arm loose from SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks at his ass n' throws his thugged-out arms up like "what?"

 **DEAN  
** I don't be thinkin you real.

 **SAM  
** (agitated, sucks up in a funky-ass breath) Dude, you feel that? (hez grabbin DEAN by tha arms) Yo ass feel this, biatch? I be real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. This aint a acid trip. I be real, n' dat thang is gonna come down here n' bust a cap up in our asses fo' real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Now, please-

 **DEAN  
** Therez one way ta be sure. (he pulls up tha silver knife)

 **SAM  
** (backin off) Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is you bustin?

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but a oldschool wives' tale. If you bout ta take a thugged-out dirtnap up in a thugged-out dream, you wake up.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, no, no, no, no, no, no. Thatz crazy fo' realz. All right?

 **DEAN  
** (with a thugged-out determined look) Maybe.

 **SAM  
** (start struttin towardz DEAN) Yo ass is gonna bust a cap up in yo ass- (DEAN holdz up tha knife n' his other hand ta stop him) OK.

 **DEAN  
** Or I'ma wake up. One or tha other.

 **SAM  
** OK. This aint a thugged-out dream, all right. I be here, wit you, now fo' realz. And you bout ta bust a cap up in yo ass, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, I be pretty sure. Like, 90% sure. But I be shizzle enough.

Dude turns tha knife on his dirty ass, takes both his handz ta tha handle, locked n loaded ta thrust it tha fuck into his dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** WAIT!

Suddenly MARY strutts up next ta DEAN, up in tha same nightgown dat her dope ass took a dirt nap in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Behind SAM, CARMEN appears.

 **SAM  
** Why'd you gotta keep digging?

DEAN looks back at MARY. We peep JESSICA appearin on his bangin right side.

 **SAM  
** (cont'd) Why couldn't you have left well enough alone? (DEAN looks around) Yo ass was horny.

MARY comes up in front of DEAN.

 **MARY  
** Put tha knife down, honey.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass aint real. (tears up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes) None of it is.

 **MARY  
** It don't matter n' shit. It aint nuthin but still betta than anythang you had.

 **DEAN  
** What?

 **MARY  
** It aint nuthin but every last muthafuckin thang you want. We a cold-ass lil crew again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Let’s bounce back ta tha doggy den.

 **DEAN  
** (bobbin his head) I be bout ta take a thugged-out dirt nap. (voice breaking) Da Djinn'll... drain tha game outta me up in a cold-ass lil couple days.

 **MARY  
** But up in here, wit us, it'll feel like years. Like a gametime. (DEAN looks over at SAM whoz ass half-smilez n' nodz ta him) I promise. (Bitch takes his chin up in her hand, n' he looks down on her) No mo' pain. (strokes his cheek) Or fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Just ludd n' comfort fo' realz. And safety. Dean, stay wit us. (strokes his other cheek n' he leans tha fuck into her hand, closin his wild lil' fuckin eyes) Git some rest.

 **JESSICA  
** Yo ass don't gotta worry bout Sam no mo'. (DEAN looks over at her) Yo ass git ta peep his ass live a gangbangin' full game.

MARY steps away, n' CARMEN strutts up ta him, takin his wild lil' grill up in her hands, humpin' his muthafuckin ass.

 **CARMEN  
** We can gotz a gangbangin' future together n' shiznit yo. Have our own crew. I gots a straight-up boner fo' you, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Please.

SAM strutts up ta his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** Why is it our thang ta save everyone, biatch? Haven't our phat asses done enough, biatch? (echoin what tha fuck DEAN holla'd earlier.) I be beggin you, biatch. (breathes in) Give me tha knife.

DEAN looks at CARMEN, SAM, n' MARY wit tears up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes. Then his thugged-out lil' punk-ass backs away lookin all up in tha floor yo. Dude raises his head, lookin at SAM.

 **DEAN inhales  
** (whisper) I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

Dude thrusts tha knife tha fuck into his dirty ass, n' blood immediately comes outta his crazy-ass grill.

 **SAM  
** DEAN! DEAN! Dean.

SAM strutts up ta DEAN n' we peep now dat tha SAM sayin "DEAN" is tha real SAM. DEAN is hangin from tha ceilin like tha other biatch, eyes open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. A blood bag hangs next ta his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** Oh Dogg. Come on. (bobbin him) Hey. Wake up. Wake up, damn dat shiznit son!

DEAN grunts a lil yo. His eyes begin ta focus on SAM.

 **SAM  
** Hey yo. Hey.

 **DEAN  
** Ahh.. fo' realz. Auntie Em. Therez no place like home.

 **SAM  
** Thank Dogg.. n' you KNOWS I lost you fo' a second. (he pulls up tha tube up in DEANz throat)

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass almost done did.

 **SAM  
** Oh god. (breathang heavily) Letz git you down.

SAM reaches up n' starts ta cut all up in tha rope as DEAN winces over tha wild-ass bullshit n' grunts a lil. We peep two bright blue eyes next ta SAM up in tha shadows, n' tha DJINN comes out.

 **DEAN  
** (seein tha DJINN) SAM!

SAM turns around, goin ta tha DJINN wit tha knife. Da DJINN has SAM fo' a moment, gets his ass ta drop tha knife. DEAN tries ta pull his dirty ass loose, pullin on tha rope dat SAM had begun cutting. Da DJINN gets tha upper hand on SAM, n' his holdin his ass by tha throat. Da DJINNz hand is glowin blue, n' he is movin it toward SAMz forehead yo, but SAM is struggling, pushin against his wrist n' tryin ta stop his muthafuckin ass. Da DJINN opens his wild lil' fist n' blue light begins ta step tha fuck up round his hand.

When its hand be almost at SAMz forehead DEAN thrusts tha knife tha fuck into tha back of tha DJINN, turns it n' we peep tha blue light go outta its eyes. Well shiiiit, it closes its eyes, its head rolls down, n' when DEAN pulls up tha knife, it falls ta tha ground dead as fuckin fried chicken.

SAM breathes heavily from bein strangled n' DEAN don't look too good,pale n' wit red-rimmed eyes.

  
CUT TO:

DEAN strutts up ta tha girl. Dude puts his hand ta her neck, feelin fo' a pulse. A tear rolls down one of her cheeks.

 **DEAN  
** Dat hoe still kickin it! (handin tha knife over ta SAM) Sam...

DEAN pulls up tha tube up in her neck as SAM cuts her rope. DEAN catches her as she goes down.

 **DEAN  
** (SAM watches) I gotcha. I gotcha. We gonna git you outta here, OK, biatch? I gotcha. (Bitch make lil' small-ass wheezin sounds) I gots you, biatch.


	6. ACT FIVE

INT SAM AND DEAN'S MOTEL ROOM

DEAN is chillin on tha edge of a hotel bed, flippin all up in a magazine. Dude sees a ad wit a biatch lyin on tha beach, holdin a funky-ass brew- the biatch is Carmen, his wild lil' freak up in tha DJINN-fantasy.

 **SAM  
** (on tha phone) OK, uh, fuck you like it aint no thang fo' tha update. OK, bye. (he hangs up)

 **SAM  
** (to DEAN) That was tha hospitizzle. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Girlz been stabilized. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dope chizzle she gonna pull through.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz good.

 **SAM  
** Yeah. (pause) How tha fuck 'bout yo slick ass, biatch? Y'all right?

 **DEAN  
** (clears throat) Yeah, I be all right. (pause) Yo ass should have peeped it, Sam. Our lives. Yo ass was such a wussy.

 **SAM  
** (chuckles) So our phat asses didn't git along then, huh?

 **DEAN  
** Nah.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.... n' you KNOWS dat shiznit was supposed to, ta be dis slick fantasy.

 **DEAN  
** It wasn't. Dat shiznit was just a wish. I wished fo' Momma ta live. That Momma never died, we never went hustlin n' you n' mah crazy ass just never uh... you know.

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Well, I be glad our phat asses do fo' realz. And I be glad you dug yo ass out, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Most playas wouldn't've had tha strength, would have just stayed.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah... Lucky mah dirty ass. I gotta rap though, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass know, you had Jess. Momma was gonna have grandkids...

 **SAM  
** Yeah yo, but... Dean... it wasn't real.

 **DEAN  
** I know. But I wanted ta stay. (DEAN looks sad, lost.) I wanted ta stay so bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, eva since Dad... all I c- all I can be thinkin bout is how tha fuck much dis thangz cost us. (pause) We've lost all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! We've... sacrificed all muthafuckin day.

 **SAM  
** But playas is kickin it cuz of you, biatch. (DEAN scoffs.) It aint nuthin but worth it, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it is. It aint nuthin but not fair, and... you know, it hurts like hell yo, but... itz worth dat shit.

DEAN looks at his brother, then down again, sadly, pensively.


End file.
